Fabric Horse U-Lock Holster

I've been carrying my current U-lock for nine years now, and in those nine years it's home, while in transit, has been my back pocket. That's where it lives. Location is everything: From my back right pocket its easy to pull out when I need to shake it in a threatening manner or retrieve it to lock up my ride. My lock is my friend; my protector. I've depended on it for many years now and it's never let me down. When I stumble out of the bodega with my Red Bull, hoagie, Bike magazine and canned ham, I'm always relieved to see my bike safe and secure. Thank you my little steel friend.

While my lock does fit nicely in the back pocket of my shorts, pants and shants, last month I discovered a new product from Fabric Horse which piqued my interest: The U-lock Holster. My initial reaction to the holster was one of disinterest and snobbery. With a head-shake, a single "tsssssssss" escaped my lips. What's wrong with the back pocket? I grumbled.

Flash forward a month. It's August 29th and I'm standing at the counter at Mod Squad Cycles in Harlem. I'm wrestling a new mustache bar into my messenger bag and joking with one of the shop workers about shanking unsuspecting pedestrians on the way home with this oddly shaped piece of aluminum protruding from my bag. I'm about to leave when I spot a pile of these holsters on the counter marked: $9.99. So I buy one. What the hell I say. Living in a city of hipsters ensures a respectable resale value if I don't end up using this thing. Thank you Craigslist.

Now flash backward one day. It's August 30th, 6:15am. I'm rubbing a crusty eye-booger from my face while slipping my belt through the loops in my shorts. It is then that I spot the holster draped over the back of a chair. Oh yeah, time to use that ten dollar piece of seat-belt. Positioning the holster in the back, just right of center, I drop my lock in. As my elevator takes me to the ground floor I'm going over things I wasn't supposed to forget: dress shoes, dress shirt, khakis, a couple of slices of pizza from the fridge... then the door opens and I roll down the hall and out on to the street.

As soon as I throw a leg over my bike I realized, perhaps the single most important benefit of the holster, which is: ass pressure reduction. When you shove a U-lock in your back pocket it really presses against your ass. That pressure is now gone because the lock, no longer fights the curvature of your badonkadonk. It simply hangs straight down "off the back" (a position I am quite used to from my road racing daze). So, to the two Phillies at Fabric Horse; thank you, I dig it, nicely done!